Monthly Archives: December 2007

Madonna re-releases herself

Madonna in the 80s – the good old days

In honour of her Madgesty’s 50th birthday next year (and my! She doesn’t look a day over 49!), the all-round entertainer is due to re-release some of her greatest hit singles as downloads in a battle to beat Elvis Presley’s record of the most UK number ones. I’m not entirely sure this makes sense though – I’ve just done a check on iTunes, and plenty of her old songs are available for sale there. If hundreds of thousands of us in the UK bought Into The Groove right now, that’d be number one this Sunday, right? Oh well, the blaze of publicity at this attempt won’t hurt her, I suppose.

She’d better get a move on, though! Elvis has had 21 chart-toppers, but Madonna has only had 12 number ones. Ooh, it’s gonna be tough, girl! In fact, she’s also behind The Beatles (18 number ones), Cliff Richard (14) and Westlife (14). Ha ha, perhaps that’s a more attainable target – beating Cliff Richard and Westlife!

WAIT A MINUTE!! Westlife have had 14 number ones?!?! British record-buying public, ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MINDS??

Hoover fun round the Paltrow/Martin residence

Chris Martin

The Sun reports that Chris Martin was spotted in the household appliance section of John Lewis department (The Sun has spied there??) buying not one, not two, but THREE Henry hoovers. He explained his purchases by saying

Some of them are gifts and one’s for me.

I love to do the housework. I don’t really see the point of getting someone else to do all your day-to-day chores.

That’s a really lame Christmas gift. No, really! Trust me. The hoovers are really unwieldly and heavy, making them hard to lug around the place, and their suction power is rather poor! I’d certainly be very disappointed if I received one of them from Mr Martin. I’d have wished he’d go for something a bit more modern, like a Dyson.

Having said that, Henry hoovers do have a very cool name. And wasn’t there another one in the series? I forget his name. Harvey Hoover? Hetty Hoover? Hannibel Hoover? Hey, that’d work!

Somebody Save Us!

Leon Jackson

Urgh. The X Factor single is the Christmas number one. Leon Jackson’s This Is A Rubbish Song (You’re All Mugs For Buying It And Making Simon Cowell Richer) shot to number one, selling 276,000 copies in only one week. Oh alright, the song is actually called When You Believe and it’s a slightly re-writen cover of a Mariah Carey and Whitney Houston song. Double urgh. Leon’s single sold the most number of copies in one week of any song released this year. People, people, will you never learn??

Alesha wins Strictly!

So, Alesha Dixon won Strictly Come Dancing last night, and what a worthy winner she was! With her professional dance parter, Matthew Cutler, she proved to be a very consistent performer throughout the series. She also performed marginally better in the final over her rival Matt Di Angelo. BUT I was a little bit disappointed with her finale, the free dance. Dancing to Bonnie Tyler’s classic, I Need A Hero, there was waaay too much cape action for me. AND to me it also looked like the kind of dance that two tweenagers would make up in their bedroom on a Saturday afternoon! See here:


On the other hand, Matt Di Angelo, with dance partner Flavia Cacace, was superb with his free dance to Lenny Kravitz’s Are You Gonna Go My Way! Take a look:


On another note, I was crying throughout the final – the show is too beautiful! So entertaining, funny, warm…I could go on. X Factor, on the other hand, makes me cry bitter tears. Of pain. And regret. Stupid X Factor.

Spice Girls Tickets Still Available

Spice Girls 

Are you cursing yourself for not getting tickets to one of the the Spice Girls’ London shows at the O2? Well, you shouldn’t. Because there’s still plenty of seats available! Despite a sell-out show on their opening night in London on Saturday, the Girls seem to have slightly overestimated demand. There were visibly empty areas of the arena for the Sunday’s show, and upcoming gigs aren’t sell-outs. (Well, I ask you, seventeen shows in London in total? Slight overkill!)

I’ve just done a check for seats on Ticketmaster…and I can buy tickets for tomorrow’s show (yes, TOMORROW) for what looks to be a variety of absolutely prime positions! (Floor seating, right in front of the “catwalk” bit of the stage; lower tier seating to the left of the stage…the list goes on.)

One thing I was surprised to learn, however, was that tickets are on sale for a rather astounding £75 each!

THEREFORE! Don’t waste your money! Get on to Ebay and nab a pair there, as tickets for some January gigs are going for well under face value. I’ve just seen a pair of lower tier tickets go for £102 – that’s nearly £70 under face value!

And that’s my top money-saving tip for today. Do tune in for more tomorrow.

X Factor Party – Rhydian No Show

X Factor Final 

The X Factor wrap party took place in London last night, with runner-up Rhydian Roberts not in attendance! The Daily Mail reports that Rhydian, favourite to win the show, deliberately snubbed the party in fury after learning that thousands of his fans apparently couldn’t get through to vote for him on Saturday night.

Whatever happened to losing gracefully?! Honestly, this whole show gets ever more farcical. If he’d attended, the majority of people at the party would have congratulated him and proclaimed him to be who they would have wanted to see win. And if Ofcom investigate the phone voting, he might even become the winner one day. By not attending, he just looks like a sore loser!

Oh, having said that, judges Simon Cowell, Sharon Osbourne and Dannii Minogue were also not in attendance. Hmmm, they’ve no doubt picked up their fat paycheques so screw the rest! God forbid that they should have to do anything as demeaning as liasing with the contestants!


< duranduran >De-ner-ner-ner the re-mix mi-mi-mi-mi-mix< /duranduran >

Yes, OKAY! So, I know Duran Duran’s hit was actually called The Reflex. But it could have been called The Remix. Oooh, how about if brought out a new version for 2008 and called it The Reflex The Remix? Hey, just a thought…

ANYWAYS, Duran Duran are not the reason why I’ve brought you hear today. No. Today, I would like you to study the art of the remix. Now, I’m not talking about dance DJ masters doing all sorts of wizard-like things with their computers and their decks to produce some stomping house tunes. No on that front too. I would instead like to bring to your attention a couple of DJs that go under the name The Freemasons. The produce their own dance tunes, but also remix a number of pop/R&B songs.

Yeah, so what, you think?? Well this year they’ve taken two songs that, despite being sung by “superstars”, are really very, very ordinary in their original form, and transformed them into something MUCH more funky. Take a listen:

1. Beautiful Liar – Beyonce & Shakira



2. Work (Put It In) – Kelly Rowland



Oh, and the original of Kelly Rowland song sounds like really bland R&B noise that could have been sung by ANYONE in the past ten years!

80s Style Fierceness – Eva Green on Vogue

Here’s Bond Girl Eva Green on the cover of January 2008 UK Vogue. She always has that sultry, gothic thing going on. Here, she looks fierce. She looks hot. She looks majah, as Victoria Beckham might say. But, there’s something about her hair, makeup and outfit that kind of screams “1983” to me:

Eva Green, Vogue Jan 08

And I don’t think that rather lurid shade of orange they’ve used for the titles on the cover is really helping.

Wrong X Factor winner?

Rhydian Roberts 

And ahem, no, I’m not referring to my previous post. I still stand by the fact that the British public have won now that the show is over!

But here’s the actual story. Some Rhydian Roberts fans have complained, saying that they were unable to phone in and vote during Saturday night’s final. Welsh singer Rhydian was the favourite to win the show, but in a suprise result, he lost out to 18-year-old Leon Jackson from Scotland. Rhydian fans said that they tried up to vote up to 10 times in some cases, but that phone lines were constantly busy. Some Welsh radio stations have now said that they will boycott Leon’s Christmas single, and are demanding a recount of the voting in the final. (Although how would a recount work? If fans’s votes didn’t register in the first place, a recount isn’t going to change anything!)

I too will boycott Leon Jackson’s Christmas single.

But I don’t want a recount. I’m okay without one, thanks.

And the Winner of X Factor 2007…is… *dramatic pause*

X Factor 

The British public!

Yes! This absolutely awful excuse for a TV programme, filled with half-decent singers that might be good in some kind of cabaret show touring the country but let’s face it they’re not really going to cut the mustard in the pop charts, and which uses staged fights between the judges to try and drum up some kind of interest is FINALLY OVER! We no longer have to suffer!

Oh, and in case you’re interested, Same Difference, the brother/sister group, actually won. Hah! No, they didn’t. Who cares?! Okay, fine it was Leon. Who?