Hmmm…I think this is the wrong kind of proposal
The BBC News reports on a “helpful” strategy that Manchester Airport are employing for Valentine’s Day in order to avoid any secretly hidden engagement rings being unveiled at airport security…thereby ruining the surprise of a proposal.
Travellers can now say a special code phrase which will see them screened privately, so all lovely and not-so-lovely rings stay firmly hidden the lucky girl (or guy?) is none the wiser.
The only problem – I think, anyway – is that the phrase in question is “be my Valentine”. Now, if I were travelling to some exotic locale for a romantic getaway with my loved one and they uttered this phrase to a security guard at the airport, I’d think they were cracking onto them. And then I’d get mad. And then I’d probably dump them.
It’s a recipe for disaster.
This kind of sounds like something from the X Files. No wait, it’s a little too light-hearted for the X Files. Make that “it’s like something from a 1980s comedy thriller”.
- Modern interpretation of a UFO
The National Archives have released their “UFO Files”, documenting apparent UFO sighting from 1986 to 1992. The best sighting is by an Alitalia pilot in 1991, on a plane bound for Heathrow. Upon seeing a brown, missile-shaped object he warned his co-pilot to “look out!”. Pretty helpful advice, methinks. “Beppe dere isa something ina sky! Looka out!”
Let me see, a brown, missle-shaped object? Could it perhaps be…a brown missile? The Ministry of Defence thought not, and also ruled out it being a space rocket or a weather balloon. Yup, I believe the official file says “Beppe and Alessandro were on the sambuca again. CASE CLOSED.”
Disclaimer: This post has slightly xenophobic undertones, and also uses a very obvious joke. Sorry. It’s just a joke. I’m also not suggesting that Alitalia are all drunken idiots. Bankrupt – yes, drunken idiots – no.
Oh, and I’ve also stolen Perez Hilton’s writing on pictures thing.
Wow, least original post ever. Let that be a lesson for me.
Over the weekend, Iron Maiden lead singer Bruce Dickinson came to the rescue of some unlucky holidaymakers who were stranded in Sharm el-Sheikh and Kos when the travel company XL went bust. Good ol’ Bruce piloted a plane to the Egyptian resort, flew back to England, had a quick sleep, then went out to Kos to rescue some more British tourists that were stuck on the holiday island.
- You’re facing the wrong way!!
Most newspaper reports of this story helpfully add that Bruce is a “fully-qualified Boeing 757 pilot” (e.g. The Mirror) which is awesome! Not only is a helpful guy, but he’s also trained to fly planes! What a brilliant coincidence.
Unfortunately, it might not be so good for said pilot:
…Marc Cryer, on Bruce’s chartered Monarch flight from Sharm el-Sheikh on Saturday, was alone in his awe at being rescued by such a famous captain of rock.
Marc said: “I was stunned – though nobody else seemed to know who he was. I must have been his one fan on the trip.
Tut, where are Iron Maiden fans when you need them? Well, clearly not stranded in Sharm el-Sheikh…
I hope this is the start of trend in society – rock legends generally coming to the rescue. I understand that Robert Plant of Led Zepplin is putting together a funding package to help struggling airline Alitalia. Joe Elliott of Def Leppard is considering digging deep to help some of them employees of Lehman Brothers. Jon Bon Jovi will start a weekly column in The Sun to help readers through the credit crunch. And Coldplay’s Chris Martin will pen a whiny piano song about the whole thing.