Category Archives: Music Videos

Music Videos

What’s Sanch from Garth Marenghi’s Dark Place doing in Madonna’s new video?

Madonna’s released a “teaser” clip from her upcoming video and song – because, you know, we just can’t wait until it’s actually out. Here it is:

This may be one of the funniest things I’ve seen. SERIOUSLY. My initial thoughts were exactly as this post’s title – and I’m obviously not referring to the younger guy in the video, who is in fact Madonna’s toy boy, Jesus Luz. (Get over yourself, woman. The guy’s a model. You don’t have to give him a career.)

I mean the other guy. Okay, so it’s not Sanch but actually Paul Oakenfold. BUT WHAT IS HE DOING? Is he having some kind of fit? Is he on one of those Power Plate workout machines? Has a child of his recently given birth to a child – which is why he’s dancing like a grand-dad? Why does he look like such a moron? Who thought this would look good in the final cut of the video? Ohhh…

Maybe Madonna had a falling out with him…and MEANT to show him like that. Ohhh…

Literal Videos

I’m a bit slow on this one – posted a link to the literal video of Bonnie Tyler’s Total Eclipse of the Heart earlier today. Heck, even The Metro newspaper was going on about it this morning. And The Metro is usually at least four days late with any kind of news.

So, I won’t display that literal video, as funny as it is. No, why go for Bonnie Tyler when you can go for…



P.S. In fairness to me, I do remember kind of watching the version of a-ha’s Take On Me. So it’s not all bad.

Okay, who over-ordered on the Estelle CDs?!

Estelle – she of American Boy fame with Le Kanye – has had her album taken off U.S. iTunes, thereby causing it and the hit single to plummet down the American charts. American Boy was at number 11 on the Billboard chart, but has now fallen to number 37. Her album has base-jumped down to number 159. (Although its high was only a “distinctly average” – as Simon Cowell would say – 38.)

It’s all down to her album company, Warner. They want people to buy the whole album, rather than individual songs. iTunes is pretty nifty in the way that you can buy individual songs – even individual album tracks – without having to fork out for the whole thing. Except it doesn’t quite work as well if no one buys the album anymore.

My theory is that someone accidentally got too many Estelle CDs producing by typing in a couple more zeros than necessary on the order. Oops. Now they’re desperately trying to shift them. Expect Ebay to be flooded with them soon.

If you’re in America and can no longer buy the song in iTunes: why not just sit in front of your computer all day and watch it on YouTube? It’s free! Fantastic! Screw you, Warner!


How Not To Sample (Music)

Following on from the incredibly successful television show, What Not To Wear, TV style guru Gok Wan introduces his latest offering, How Not To Sample, in which he advises up-and-coming bands on where they’ve gone wrong in sampling classic hit music.

I kid, of course. But if this was a real show, the first group he’d be helping would be hot young things (apparently), The Saturdays. Their new single, “If This Is Love”, samples the completely excellent 80s hit “Satisfaction” by Yazoo. But it samples it badly. The song uses the same tiny intro bit repeated over and over. On top of that, the five girls (two of whom used to be in S Club 8…snooze…) sing words the medley of which doesn’t really appear to be related to anything. It’s like when kids make up their own song on the spot.

Take a look at the video, which is equally unexciting:


The Saturdays get ready for a performance in a shop window (in Miss Selfridge on the corner of Oxford Street and Great Portland Street, by the look of things), then strut and lounge around in said window in a sort of moving mannequin-type display. (Which isn’t a patch on the Samantha-from-Sex-and-the-City-comes-to-life in Mannequin.)

Upon completeing their performance, they receive a completely over-the-top response from the crowd outside and their own crew. Which is weird; the crowd on the street presumably didn’t hear them very well through the glass, and their own people wouldn’t have heard them that well either seeing as they were backstage. What is everyone clapping about? That they wore dresses well?!

Let’s ignore them and listen to Yazoo’s original instead:


Now that, is a song.

And a proper music video, come to think about it.

Greatest Puzzles of the 21st Century

From Nickleback’s Chad Kroeger – yeah, what is that on Joey’s head?

Take a look at the evidence. Here’s Chad, urging you to take a look at this photograph, because everytime he does it makes him laugh. (That’s a pretty lame reason for looking at a photograph, if you ask me.)

There you go, that’s Joey on the right. It looks like he’s got a beer keg on his head, although that seems a bit possible because surely his neck wouldn’t be able to support such a weight? Unless…it’s an empty beer keg? *gasps* Alternatively, it also kind of looks like he’s got a stack of those metallic cases used to store film reels.

Oh Joey, why do you do such crazy things?!

It’s Monday! Video Time!

Ahh, Guns n Roses. Axl. Slash. The blonde dude. The other blonde dude. Someone other guy as well. Do you remember, back in the early 90s, when they were THE biggest band in the world?

But let’s go back a bit further in time to one of  their earlier songs, Paradise City. This is a typical rock video – “live” concert footage, the band messing around backstage, fans going crazy – and misbehaving – in the crowd. Examples of the crazy rock ‘n’ roll lifestyle – random hotel rooms, Concorde. And then, best of all, at 3 minutes 32 into the song, a British rock fan with what looks like a Tesco carrier bag.

*makes devil horn sign*