So, yesterday Jay-Z, or maybe his people, or his record company, or possibly his pet parakeet, got the excellent Newport State Of Mind – the parody of the almost as good Empire State Of Mind – taken off YouTube. BOOOOOO says most of the country…probably.
If you’re having withdrawal symptoms (I know I am) then along comes Wales’ seventh most popular rap group to save the day! Goldie Lookin’ Chain – or GLC as they seem to be known these days – have decided to make their own reply-slash-parody of Newport State Of Mind, entitled Newport State Of Mind (You’re Not From Newport). I see what they did there. Anyway, here it is:
Now, this new video raises several points and questions:
Who didn’t watch Newport State Of Mind (let’s call it NSOM) and think, “Isn’t this Goldie Lookin’ Chain? Oh maybe not…there’s not 15 of them, and this is actually quite good.”
This version is pretty crap.
And not very funny.
And a bit pointless.
And I bet most people knew the places (Welsh Assembly, the DVLA) and celebrities named in NSOM weren’t actually in or from Newport but let’s face it, what or who is? So you’ve got to include some general names in it as well and if you get great phrases and lines like “Craig to the Bellamy” and “Tom Jones Steve Zones Zeta Jones Traffic Cones Make sure you park in the designated parking zones” then quite frankly, I don’t care.
Never thought Newport was the Hollywood of Wales but, blimey, GLC’s video makes it look like the arsehole of Wales.
So?? SO?? Is Josie frickin’ D’Arby from Newport or what?!?
GLC’s chorus says “You’re not from Newport, probably never been here either, I’ll bet you a fiver” which is strange…BECAUSE THE VIDEO OF NSOM IS CLEARY FILMED IN NEWPORT SO THEY’VE OBVIOUSLY BEEN LIKEDURRRRRURSODUMB. Though if they’re talking to me personally then yeah, they’re right – I’ve haven’t ever been to Newport.
What’s the bit on the inside of your knee called? Mine’s called Matthew.
Last week I blogged about the 2009 MTV Movie Awards that took place last Monday, and wittered on about the whole Bruno/Eminem/bum-on-face occurance. In actual fact, I didn’t want to write about that at all, nor even feature a YouTube video of it. (The video’s been taken down for copyright reasons, anyway.)
What I did want to write about and have a video of was the short music video in the awards, “Cool Guys Don’t Look At Explosions” featuring Andy Samberg, Will Ferrell and JJ Abrams. It wasn’t on YouTube last week, but is now. That’s a true story.
I’m a bit slow on this one – Dlisted.com posted a link to the literal video of Bonnie Tyler’s Total Eclipse of the Heart earlier today. Heck, even The Metro newspaper was going on about it this morning. And The Metro is usually at least four days late with any kind of news.
So, I won’t display that literal video, as funny as it is. No, why go for Bonnie Tyler when you can go for…
On account of YouTube taking down music videos and account of me being particularly lazy, I haven’t been doing the “It’s Monday! Video Time!” segment of this blog much…*coughs*…at all in recent months. But you can stop crying now! Because, as a way of saying “I’m sorrrrrreeeee”, here’s one of the greatest things I’ve witnessed in the last 21.5 hours:
Who watches X Factor? Why? What is remotely interesting about it? Unknowns singing (sometimes strangling) known songs week in week out – to quote Pink, so what? This, of course, is after the much publicised auditions where you either have to be not quite right in the head by believing yourself to be the next Whitney Houston when in fact your voice sounds like a dying cat so everyone laughs at you, or have some kind of dramatic sob story so the programme makers will devote half an hour to you.
I’d like to see the following happen at an X Factor audition:
Simon Cowell: “Why are you here today, why do you want to win the X Factor?”
Auditionee: “I…*sniff*…split some coffee on my favourite top today and I really want to prove to everyone…*tear rolls down cheek*…that I’m not just about spilling drinks on myself, but that I’m actually quite talented…”
So, we’ve come to that time of year where last year’s winner is required to release some music. Leon Jackson’s song, Don’t Call This Love, charted yesterday at number three. But, ha ha! Comedian Peter Kay’s X Factor spoof – contestant Geraldine McQueen from Britain’s Got The Pop Factor – managed to chart one place higher at number two. Awesome.
If I were Leon Jackson, I’d be majorly pissed off. And not just about charting one place behind a guy that’s parodying the contest you were in. I mean, Leon’s won what’s supposed to be the UK’s best talent competition (there’s something very wrong about those last few words) and then after one quick single to ensure the Christmas number one, they’ve waited ten months before releasing any new material. And that’s the lead single they’ve decided to give him?!?! Can no one write him a decent pop song? This one is appallingly bad. It sounds like something Robson and Jerome would have rejected.
Although who brought us the singing sensations that were Robson and Jerome? That’s right, Simon Cowell. *sighs*
Wholly predictably (how can you NOT make fun of it?), a really rather excellent parody of Britney Spears’s performance at the 2007 MTV Video Music Awards has emerged. By Greg Scarnici, it’s entitled Gimme More (Pills). Check it out: