Tag Archives: Film

What a difference a week makes

Last week I blogged about the 2009 MTV Movie Awards that took place last Monday, and wittered on about the whole Bruno/Eminem/bum-on-face occurance. In actual fact, I didn’t want to write about that at all, nor even feature a YouTube video of it. (The video’s been taken down for copyright reasons, anyway.)

What I did want to write about and have a video of was the short music video in the awards, “Cool Guys Don’t Look At Explosions” featuring Andy Samberg, Will Ferrell and JJ Abrams. It wasn’t on YouTube last week, but is now. That’s a true story.


I heart you, The Lonely Island! They could make a video of baby rabbits being mauled by A Flock Of Seagulls (the band), and I’d find it funny.

MTV makes me feel old

The 2009 MTV Movie Awards took place last night in LA, and is airing tonight in the UK. (MTV One, 9pm) There has never a single piece of programming that has ever made me older. I’m sitting here and it just seems to be a bunch of people I barely know about! Zac Efron? High School Musical? Are these people and movies really that successful? And Twilight – I have never known so little about such a popular movie.

Also, I really did just think to myself – this show wouldn’t be so bad if the audience weren’t screaming so much at everything. I am now officially my mother.

Still, this was pretty funny – just when wonder how Sacha Baron Cohen can outdo himself, he just about gets there:


(In all honesty, I actually wanted to post a clip of the Will Ferrell/Andy Samberg/JJ Abrahams song, “Cool Guys Don’t Look At Explosions” – about movie leads always walking nonchalantly away from the massive explosion they’ve just set, causing half the city of collapse into a smouldering pile of rubble – except I couldn’t find it on YouTube. Bah.

Is there nothing straight about this movie?!

Top Gun “star” Kelly McGillis has announced to the world that’s going to be hanging out with a lot more women in the future, as she outed herself as a lesbian in a recent online interview. In a strikingly vague declaration, McGillis announced that she her next partner would “definitely be a woman” and that she was “done with the man thing. I did that, I need to move on in life”. Hmmm, dunno guys – it sounds like there’s a possibility that you could tempt her back.

The Daily Mail apparently seem to think that this is Hollywood’s worst kept secret. Well, excuuuse me! I never knew. But maybe that’s because I don’t live in Hollywood. Or maybe they mean Hollywood from the 1986 Andrew McCarthy/Kim Cattrall vehicle, Mannequin. Yeah, it’s the kind of secret he’d probably know AND struggle to keep quiet about.

So Top Gun, when it doesn’t have oiled, topless men diving around, playing volleyball; innuendo-filled dialogue (“You can be my wingman anytime” … “You can be mine!”); or the least connvincing love scenes ever now finds itself with a lesbian actress playing the main flight instructor. Why was a woman teaching all this “macho” men how to be fighter pilots anyway? I can’t remember. The last two times I’ve watched Top Gun has been with the sound on mute so I could play my iPod instead. Seriously.

Oh, in answer to the question in the title – of course there’s something straight about the movie! Raging hetero Tom Cruise, of course!

And, as an aside: the soundtrack’s darn good.


Charlie’s Angels – when 3 become 4

Funnily enough, “3 Become 4” was actually going to be an updated version of the Spice Girls classic “2 Become 1” for the 2000s, what with them all having sprogs, and in particular prompted by single-mum Mel B having Eddie Murphy’s baby, and then getting married, thus turning her 3-person family in a 4-person one. Posh vetoed it, what with her and Becks plus three kids making 5 people, as she said she’d feel funny singing it, which is ironic seeing as she doesn’t sing. True story.

Ahem. Back to the title of this post. The Charlie’s Angels movies are apparently set to have a third film of the series made, according to Drew Barrymore. Or what she actually said was:

I’m so into it—Charlie’s Angels III!

Which actually just sounds like the random kind of comment I would make. “I’m definitely going to dress up as Cher for a whole week!” or “Cats! I need to get more cats in this room! Right now!!” or “When this baby hits 88 miles per hour, you’re going to see some serious shit!”. It doesn’t mean I’m actually going to do any of those things, like, ever.

In fairness to Drew, she is star and producer of the Charlie’s Angels movies. I guess her quote might actually lead to another movie.

Back off, bitch
Back off, bitch

The third Charlie’s Angel movie might also feature the introduction of a fourth Angel! How exciting…

Wait a sec…ooh, ooooh! Fourth Angel? Pick me! Pick me!! Okay, wait, this I am definitely going to do…

“Beads.” “Bees?!” “BEADS!” “BEADS?!?!” “Gob’s not on board.”

In what’s being described as the awesomest thing to happen EVER, reports from the U.S. suggest that a movie of the brilliant TV show Arrested Development is close to being made. Creator Mitch Hurwitz and producer Ron Howard (who also narrated the show) have settled on a deal to make a big-screen version.

My love for this show is only beaten by my bafflement as to why the show was a ratings failure. Really, people, stop watching dross like American Idol and X Factor and start watching stuff like this. (Except you can’t because it isn’t shown anymore. Ha! That’s your punishment.)

You know, I bet Barack Obama watches Arrested Development. It’s probably his favourite show. Or maybe second favourite, behind Flight of the Conchords. Totally. He strikes me as that kind of guy.

Here’s a bunch of characters doing “The Chicken Dance”.


P.S. The title of this post is the dialogue from my favourite clip of the programme. It may not seem like much in written form – but go buy the first series and watch it.

Dane Cook’s not going to be happy…

And it’s important that we, the people of earth, keep Dane Cook happy. Don’t ask my why, you don’t need to know the details. We just do.

Now you’re wondering, “Who the hell is Dane Cook?” Well, he’s a comedy actor and he kind of dated Jessica Simpson. Aaaaand that’s pretty much all he’s done in his life.

Oh, hang on a sec, he did something else. A while back, he wrote a funny post on his own MySpace page, trashing the poster of latest movie My Best Friend’s Girl. Cook basically disected the poster in a Photoshop Disasters kind of way. Here’s the poster:

Hudson, Cook and Biggs...and plant
Hudson, Cook and Biggs…and plant

And here’s Dane Cook’s comments: My Best Friend’s Girl Poster – Lead Dane Cook Hates It!

He’ll be pleased to learn that the posters for the movie over here in Britain ave been changed! Phew. Here it is:

Phone box
Phone box

What I can deduce from looking at this poster is that:

  • Jason Biggs plays a character who is permanently panicked. (Given he has the same expression in the other poster.)
  • Jason Biggs also looks like he’s saying, “You want me to do WHAT? To WHERE on your body??! I don’t know how to do that!!”
  • Jason Biggs is very small, Dane Cook is middly, Kate Hudson is massive.
  • Kate Hudson was late for the photo, and swept in at the last minute causing her dress to nearly fall off.
  • The movie poster people now hate Dane Cook. given his blogging, and as revenge have drawn devil horns and a goatee on him before printing the poster and distributing it all over the UK.
  • Dane Cook wears a lot of black, possibly in mourning for this movie.
  • Any film that has a review from the Daily Star on its poster – yeah, don’t bother.
  • What IS Alec Baldwin doing in this movie?


Ma, how does this thing called Facebook work?

BBC News reports that Aaron Sorkin, creator of TV drama The West Wing, is due to make a film about the founders of Facebook. As part of Aaron’s exciting preparations for the movie, BBC News reports that he has

even opened a Facebook account to aid his research

Now, that’s not exactly going above and beyond, is it? He’s taken two minutes (three, if he’s especially computer illiterate) out of his day to set up a Facebook page. No so impressive, Aaron!

I want to see some proper research going on. I want to see Aaron Sorkin spend every waking minute of every day from now on updating his profile, adding new photos, tagging people, “find out” what his exes are doing, changing his status (“Aaron has writer’s block, LOL!”), playing Scrabulous…er, scratch that, playing “What Would Be Your Stripper Name?”… I want him to set up his own, completely new, social networking site and grow it into a 100 million user plus website. I want to see him kidnap the actual founder of Facebook, Mark Zuckerberg, assume his identity and start living his life for him. I WANT SOME PROPER RESEARCH, I tell you!