Who watches X Factor? Why? What is remotely interesting about it? Unknowns singing (sometimes strangling) known songs week in week out – to quote Pink, so what? This, of course, is after the much publicised auditions where you either have to be not quite right in the head by believing yourself to be the next Whitney Houston when in fact your voice sounds like a dying cat so everyone laughs at you, or have some kind of dramatic sob story so the programme makers will devote half an hour to you.
I’d like to see the following happen at an X Factor audition:
Simon Cowell: “Why are you here today, why do you want to win the X Factor?”
Auditionee: “I…*sniff*…split some coffee on my favourite top today and I really want to prove to everyone…*tear rolls down cheek*…that I’m not just about spilling drinks on myself, but that I’m actually quite talented…”
So, we’ve come to that time of year where last year’s winner is required to release some music. Leon Jackson’s song, Don’t Call This Love, charted yesterday at number three. But, ha ha! Comedian Peter Kay’s X Factor spoof – contestant Geraldine McQueen from Britain’s Got The Pop Factor – managed to chart one place higher at number two. Awesome.
Here’s Geraldine’s beautiful song:
And here’s boring old Leon Jackson by comparison:
If I were Leon Jackson, I’d be majorly pissed off. And not just about charting one place behind a guy that’s parodying the contest you were in. I mean, Leon’s won what’s supposed to be the UK’s best talent competition (there’s something very wrong about those last few words) and then after one quick single to ensure the Christmas number one, they’ve waited ten months before releasing any new material. And that’s the lead single they’ve decided to give him?!?! Can no one write him a decent pop song? This one is appallingly bad. It sounds like something Robson and Jerome would have rejected.
Although who brought us the singing sensations that were Robson and Jerome? That’s right, Simon Cowell. *sighs*