Tag Archives: Media

Being a celebrity magazine editor – it’s not all that, apparently

Mark Frith used to be the editor of Heat magazine up until very recently. He also used to be the editor of the late, great Smash Hits magazine when I used to read it, which was in 1993/4.

So this guy’s been in the industry for at least 15 years. You think he’d have a juicy story or two about celebs to tell, right? Well, he certainly seems to think so. He’s just about to come out with a book called The Celeb Diaries: The Sensational Inside Story Of The Celebrity Decade. Hmm, snappy title! Part of the book has also just been serialised in the Daily Mail. For Mark Frith’s sake, I’m hoping the newspaper decided to print the really crappy, really boring bits of the book. Because it doesn’t exactly make for fascinating reading.

The problem with it is that he doesn’t actually reveal any scintillating behind-the-scenes goss. Okay, so Frith could well get in trouble for revealing some of that… But all that’s left is a book full of stories about people most people aren’t interested in anymore (Will Young versus Gareth Gates in the Pop Idol final in 2002 – WHO CARES?!; and interview with Jade Goody’s mother – WHY?!?) or some issues he faced as editor. Like having to apologise to Madonna for running an “untrue” story that she was pregnant. Or almost being sued by Jude Law. Yawn.

Here’s something interesting though. In an entry in March 2003, Frith writes:

Our two-week search for pictures of famous people looking terrible has paid off…We’ve got Nicole Kidman with bust padding on show, Jennifer Lopez with cellulite, Cat Deeley with veiny feet, Penelope Cruz with a double chin and Geri Halliwell showing her t*t tape…I bet the readers will love it.

FIVE AND A HALF YEARS LATER we’re still getting this same old crap. If the cover doesn’t proclaim, “TOO THIN CELEBS!”, it’s “BEST BEACH BODIES!” or “CURVY AND PROUD!”. My personal favourite was “BEACH DISASTERS” which included a female celeb – I forget who – who was on the beach with greasy hair. Oh golly, no!!

Time for a new feature idea, Heat?

Heat, recently
Heat, recently

Greatest Puzzles of the 21st Century – Part 2

Another puzzle for you: is Heat World.com written by an very over-excited 12-year-old girl, who is MSN-ing her mates? Lots of the headlines on the site end in exclamation marks!! Some sentences end in dot-dot-dots… (There’s a technical term for that. I don’t know what it is though. Clearly.) And there’s words CAPITALISED to try and show you how EXCITING it ALL is..! Why don’t they just cut the crap and revert to full on text speak? Because tht wld b lts ov fun, LOL…!!!!!!11

Excellent - the weekly crossword answers are out!!
OMG!! The weekly crossword answers are OUT!!!!!!

Here’s one very exciting story, entitled “OMG! Jordan is SO deluded!”. (You see what I mean?) Apparently, the Heat World journalist almost spat out his/her mid-morning coffee upon reading a story about glamour-model Jordan. Yeah, well, I almost stabbed myself in the eye readng the story on Heat World. I think I win.

Essentially, Jordan apparently wants to make a film of her and Peter Andre’s lives and has revealed, to quote Heat World, “who she would like to play her and husband Peter Andre in a movie – and you’ll be VERY amused by her choices”.

Will I? WILL I? Don’t promise what you can’t fulfill, Heat World – will I really be that amused by her choices? Has she said she wants The Queen to play her? Bobby Davro?! A hamster?!! A Texas Instruments TI-80 scientific calculator…?!?! OMG!!!!

No. She wants Angelina Jolie to play her and Keanu Reeves to play Peter.

So there you have it readers. Heat World brings you the extraordinary story that Jordan – the weirdo – wants attractive and hot people to star as herself and her husband should a movie of her life ever be made.

Slow News Day?

You know it’s a slow news day when the Daily Mail publish stories and pictures about (1) A breeze messing up Gwyneth Paltrow’s hair, (2) Lily Allen buying a standard lawnmower, and the Mail insinuating that she’s going to use it to grow weed, and (3) boring columnist Liz Jones hating loafers.

The last one is the clincher I think. It must also be a slow news in the graphics department, when they can’t even bother to get a new photo of Liz Jones to accompany the article…

And it’s cleary a slow news day here, if I’m bothering to write about Liz Jones. Oh, the shame.