Dear Lily Allen,

I just found a really cool logo for your anti-piracy crusade:

After all, something about “killing music” and being “illegal” – perfect.

Though I don’t understand what this “taping” is.

Yours,

DesperatelySeekingSomething.com

Just so you know, I have not renegotiated my record contract and have no plans to make another record. I do, however, remain a fan of new music, so this is not some selfish crusade.

Well, okay – what she’s actually saying is that she’s currently not about to record a new album. That doesn’t mean she isn’t going to. I currently have no plans have a snack, juggle knives, stop trying to stay awake, or star in a big-budget Hollywood movie. That doesn’t mean I’m not going to do any of these things at some point in my life…year…day.

More amusingly, however, are reasons why her blog on illegal downloading has disappeared. Not only was some of the content lifted (or rather, just not properly attributed, as she later claimed) from elsewhere (Techdirt), and not only did it feature “illegal” scans of newspaper articles, but her website contains – or did contain – “mixtapes” made by her a few years ago, featuring snippets of music, used without permission, of course, from other artists.

Oops. I really don’t agree with her stance on illegal file sharing for various reasons, but I suppose she should be commended for taking a stance on something she, supposedly, is strongly against. But maybe she should have thought “it” (her blog; being so vocal on the matter) through a  little more. Especially because, as a young singer that’s only been a popular artist for the last few years, she’s bound to have got where she is today by people illegally downloading her music and getting to find out who she is.

Plus, if you get someone like Lily Allen banging on about illegal music downloading on a makeshift blog, you just know everyone’s going to jump on it and try and catch her out in any way possible. Which they did. Ooops.

• The Guardian: Lily Allen to quit music? Don’t bet on it
• Techdirt: A Teaching Moment For Lily Allen
• BoingBoing: Lily Allen’s copyright problem

Lily Allen and Elton John got into a bit of a bitch-fight last night whilst co-presenting the GQ Men of the Year Awards. Lily, wearing a totally over-the-top gown and a unusually ridiculous hairstyle, was knocking back the champagne throughout the cermony, even keeping a bottle of it hidden under the presenters’ podium. Elton, wearing a boring old suit but sporting his usual ridiculous hair, was sober all evening. (Probably. He’s a boring old rocker. There’ll all sober these days.)

Here’s the best exchange of the night:

Lily: And now the most important part of the night…

Elton: What? Are you going to have another drink?

Lily: F*ck off Elton. I am 40 years younger than you and have my whole life ahead of me.

Elton: I could still snort you under the table.

Lily: F*ck off. I don’t know what you are talking about.

 Here’s ten pointers for Lily Allen:

1. Don’t argue with music legends, everyone will hate you.
2. Don’t argue with someone well known for throwing tantrums; whatever you do, he’ll be able to throw an even bigger strop.
3. Improve your arguing skills in general – you need to make snappier comebacks.
4. There’s a limit to how many times you can say “f*ck off” in the space of 5 seconds.
5. Your last comment is poor. You might just as well have gone “URRRR!! WHATEVA!!!!”
6. Stop being annoying.
7. The public aren’t going to wait forever for a second album.

Well, there’s seven anyway. The other three Lily’ll have to work out on her own. I can’t do everything for her.

• Daily Mail: ‘I could still snort you under the table’

Someone, somewhere in magazine publishing world is holding their head in their hands. For last week’s editions of More and Look magazines (think gossip/fashion/women’s stuff) had remarkably similar covers:

Sure, okay, perhaps Lily Allen managed to wear her hair exactly the same with exactly the same wispy bit behind her left ear and pose with exactly the same expression including the exact same wry smile on two separate occasions. Of course, of course, entirely possible.

Until you discover proper pictures of Lily Allen wearing the gold dress (as shown on the Look cover) from the Vanity Fair party in Cannes, where she has completely different hair: http://forums.lilyallenmusic.com/viewtopic.php?t=9825&sid=fba3d00efc8d0079de0d28434a0bd1e2.

In fact, Look magazine…looks to have used the top image from the above link – you can see she’s holding the arm in the same pose.

Trust me, when you see these two magazine covers side by side on the magazine stand…you can’t help but laugh.

Lily Allen swapped her normally-dark do for blonde recently, at the advice of Kate Moss. Here’s the result:

Kate Moss is indeed a good friend to have, and clearly gives great advice. For apparently, Lily was unsure of what to do with her hair:

“Lily was asking Kate what colour she should dye her hair and they came up with blonde”.  

Amazing! No doubt, Kelly Osbourne will next ask Kate what to wear for an upcoming awards do, and Kate will suggest “clothes”; Amy Winehouse will ask Kate what to eat so she puts on a bit of weight, to which the answer will be “food”; and Sadie Frost will ask what her next career step should be, to which Kate will reply “bag yourself a toyboy, have more kids, act all pretend-boho and just generally do nothing of note.”