On Thursday the Spice Girls announced they were reforming and embarking on a world tour in December and January. But will they be successful? Don’t hold your breath. I don’t see anything about them that will make all the fans rushing back. The Spice Girls were four women in their early 20s, and Geri Halliwell (oh come on, you would have used that joke too!), promoting “Girl Power” and acting ever-so-slightly cheekily and naughtily. The fact that they weren’t the world’s best singers or dancers – by a long shot – didn’t matter because they were YOUNG AND FUN!! I wasn’t a fan myself, but I would assume the majority of their fans back in the mid to late 90s were girls in their early teens and younger who liked all that boisterous pop music.

So now we have five 30-something year old women who would look a bit silly dressed up in pig-tails, Union Jack mini-dresses, leopard print catsuits, trackie bums and trainers, and whatever Posh used to wear. (That’s five separate outfits, by the way…it would look horrendous all at once…I think). Their nicknames aren’t really suitable anymore. Girl Power? Pah, we’ve been there, done that, and achieved something even better. And their fans? I don’t think many of them will snap up tickets even for nostalgia’s sake. Take That, they ain’t. Girls – ahem – women may still get hysterical because Gary Barlow will forever hold a special place in their heart but I don’t think you can say the same thing about Sporty. I don’t think, at least…