What are Croatian WAGs like?

I know it’s the hot topic on everyone’s lips at the moment – so right here, right now, I’ll bring you the answer. Well, sort of.

Let’s take a look at one WAG in particular. She’s called Nives Celsius (catchy name) and you may have already come across her in the British press. She and her husband, Dino Drpic, famously once had sex on the pitch of Dinamo Zagreb’s stadium. Then, their young son was apparently once momentarily snatched whilst they were on holiday on the Croatian coast, as the snatchers thought they had found and were saving Madeleine McCann. (It was all resolved quickly.) Finally – and I don’t believe this was reported in the British press, though I can’t think why – Ms Celsius was pulled over whilst driving by the Croatian police just before Christmas. When asked for her ID, she replied – “Here’s my ID!” and promptly lifted up her top.

Anyways, moving swiftly to the present day-ish. A few weeks ago, writing on her blog, Nives proclaimed that she too had been John Terry’s lover. Actually, no she wasn’t – that particular post title was an error on her part as a result of writing late at night. (Do watch out for me proclaiming the same or similar on this blog one day – I also sometimes write late at night!) The blog post in question still has the title – a correction apparently isn’t warranted – though the actual content of the post is priceless. Basically, Nives advises Mrs Terry to stick with John and forgive him because she’ll never get any better. As she’s “not such a great fish”, she won’t be able to hook another footballer, whilst if they split, John would hook up with a hot model and the public will forgive him pretty quickly; Mrs Terry also otherwise wouldn’t be someone read about “around the world”. And so, according to Nives, WAGs forgive whilst footballers continue to cheat. In fact, having seen the poor quality of English football mistresses, she suggests young Croatian gold-diggers head to England. Hmm. Fair point.

No word on her relationship with Tiger Woods or Ashley Cole, or her advice to Elin Woods and Cheryl Cole.

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