Everyone RELAX! Good news about Madonna!

Apparently, Madonna’s staying in this country. Phew. When she and Guy divorce, it seems that the pair of them will be able to stay in the same country after all. Assuming that Guy stays here, of course, and doesn’t instead – in an ironic twist of fate – take up with a baseball player, tie a red piece of string around his wrist and run off to an African country and adopt twenty orphan babies.

But it’s not surprising that Madonna should choose to stay here. The UK is a pretty rocking country. It has houses, roads, air, trees, cows, libraries, traffic lights, Keith Chegwin…why would anyone choose to live anywhere else?

In fact, there’s a whole host of other celebrities that want to set up home here. Like Paris Hilton, who says:

“I love it here, I am going to move here permanently. I have already been here for one month and am much, much happier here. I love guys with English accents. I have met a really cute English guy, but it’s early days.”

Woah-ho-ho! English guys! Aren’t you the lucky ones, in with a chance of going out with Paris Hilton?! And with Paris Hilton, that pretty much means every English guy out will get a shot of…err…dating her.

And only last week, teen pop sensation Miley-daughter-of-Billy-Ray-Cyrus also spoke of a wish to move to our fair nation:

“I’ve phoned my dad and told him not to expect me home. I want to live here.

I’ve already fallen in love with 20 guys since I’ve been here. The accents sound so intelligent. I love the way the guys are so classy and wear trench coats.”

Putting aside this whole obsession with English accents that you share with Paris, here’s a tip for you, Miley – stay away from the guys in trench coats. Really. They’re not the kind of men you want to be hanging around with, quite frankly.

Coming soon to a town near you
Coming soon to a town near you

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