Category Archives: Media

Media

Being a celebrity magazine editor – it’s not all that, apparently

Magazines, Media

Mark Frith used to be the editor of Heat magazine up until very recently. He also used to be the editor of the late, great Smash Hits magazine when I used to read it, which was in 1993/4.

So this guy’s been in the industry for at least 15 years. You think he’d have a juicy story or two about celebs to tell, right? Well, he certainly seems to think so. He’s just about to come out with a book called The Celeb Diaries: The Sensational Inside Story Of The Celebrity Decade. Hmm, snappy title! Part of the book has also just been serialised in the Daily Mail. For Mark Frith’s sake, I’m hoping the newspaper decided to print the really crappy, really boring bits of the book. Because it doesn’t exactly make for fascinating reading.

The problem with it is that he doesn’t actually reveal any scintillating behind-the-scenes goss. Okay, so Frith could well get in trouble for revealing some of that… But all that’s left is a book full of stories about people most people aren’t interested in anymore (Will Young versus Gareth Gates in the Pop Idol final in 2002 – WHO CARES?!; and interview with Jade Goody’s mother – WHY?!?) or some issues he faced as editor. Like having to apologise to Madonna for running an “untrue” story that she was pregnant. Or almost being sued by Jude Law. Yawn.

Here’s something interesting though. In an entry in March 2003, Frith writes:

Our two-week search for pictures of famous people looking terrible has paid off…We’ve got Nicole Kidman with bust padding on show, Jennifer Lopez with cellulite, Cat Deeley with veiny feet, Penelope Cruz with a double chin and Geri Halliwell showing her t*t tape…I bet the readers will love it.

FIVE AND A HALF YEARS LATER we’re still getting this same old crap. If the cover doesn’t proclaim, “TOO THIN CELEBS!”, it’s “BEST BEACH BODIES!” or “CURVY AND PROUD!”. My personal favourite was “BEACH DISASTERS” which included a female celeb – I forget who – who was on the beach with greasy hair. Oh golly, no!!

Time for a new feature idea, Heat?

Heat, recently
Heat, recently

Greatest Puzzles of the 21st Century – Part 2

Jordan, Magazines, Media

Another puzzle for you: is Heat World.com written by an very over-excited 12-year-old girl, who is MSN-ing her mates? Lots of the headlines on the site end in exclamation marks!! Some sentences end in dot-dot-dots… (There’s a technical term for that. I don’t know what it is though. Clearly.) And there’s words CAPITALISED to try and show you how EXCITING it ALL is..! Why don’t they just cut the crap and revert to full on text speak? Because tht wld b lts ov fun, LOL…!!!!!!11

Excellent - the weekly crossword answers are out!!
OMG!! The weekly crossword answers are OUT!!!!!!

Here’s one very exciting story, entitled “OMG! Jordan is SO deluded!”. (You see what I mean?) Apparently, the Heat World journalist almost spat out his/her mid-morning coffee upon reading a story about glamour-model Jordan. Yeah, well, I almost stabbed myself in the eye readng the story on Heat World. I think I win.

Essentially, Jordan apparently wants to make a film of her and Peter Andre’s lives and has revealed, to quote Heat World, “who she would like to play her and husband Peter Andre in a movie – and you’ll be VERY amused by her choices”.

Will I? WILL I? Don’t promise what you can’t fulfill, Heat World – will I really be that amused by her choices? Has she said she wants The Queen to play her? Bobby Davro?! A hamster?!! A Texas Instruments TI-80 scientific calculator…?!?! OMG!!!!

No. She wants Angelina Jolie to play her and Keanu Reeves to play Peter.

So there you have it readers. Heat World brings you the extraordinary story that Jordan – the weirdo – wants attractive and hot people to star as herself and her husband should a movie of her life ever be made.

Slow News Day?

Media

You know it’s a slow news day when the Daily Mail publish stories and pictures about (1) A breeze messing up Gwyneth Paltrow’s hair, (2) Lily Allen buying a standard lawnmower, and the Mail insinuating that she’s going to use it to grow weed, and (3) boring columnist Liz Jones hating loafers.

The last one is the clincher I think. It must also be a slow news in the graphics department, when they can’t even bother to get a new photo of Liz Jones to accompany the article…

And it’s cleary a slow news day here, if I’m bothering to write about Liz Jones. Oh, the shame.

The Celebrity Apprentice

Media, Reality TV, The Apprentice, TV

The Celebrity Apprentice

 Tonight in the U.S. sees the start of The Celebrity Apprentice. Well, what with the writers’ strike, they’ve got to fill the airtime somehow, eh?

14 “celebrities” (that word’s gotta be in quotes, it’s a reality TV show after all) will take part in usual Apprentice style tasks, not to win a job with Donald Trump, but to raise $250,000 for their chosen charity. Collectively, the group seek to raise over $1 million for various charities. Still, I think maybe one or two would appreciate a job at the end of it as well.

So, who are the 14? Well, most aren’t know to a UK reader. There is, however, a Baldwin brother (you know, one of the “other” Baldwins), Romanian super-child-athlete Nadia Comaneci, Gene Simmons out of Kiss, Lennox Lewis and Piers Morgan. Yes, you read that right, Piers Morgan. How is this man becoming a global superstar?? He’s most famous in the U.S. for being a judge on America’s Got Talent – how’d he get that job in the first place? Still, the official Celebrity Apprentice website has an interesting write-up on him:

Morgan studied journalism at Harlow College, beginning his career in local south London newspapers. He was then spotted by Kelvin MacKenzie of The Sun and given his own showbiz column, Bizarre.

He lives in London and East Sussex and is a devoted Arsenal fan.

So apparently his nine-years spent editing one of Britain’s most popular newspapers, The Daily Mirror, doesn’t warrant a mention? Well, I supposed he was sacked from that job – for authorising the publication of faked photos of British soldiers absuing Iraqi prisoners. Someone’s trying to gloss over this, clearly…

Lily Allen Evolves

Magazines, Media, Music

The Daily Mail has got knickers in a twist by noticing that Lily Allen has changed from a boozy, fag-smoking chav in the summer of 2006 to a sleek, stylish young lady in November 2007. (As evidenced on the cover of the new of Marie Claire.) God, that’s so unfair. Changing your image in the space of 17 months? Celeb life is so unlike ours.

Lily Allen 2006    Lily Allen Marie Claire Feb 2008
Before: Booze hag                  After: Posh mag

I do have one thing to say about the Marie Claire cover though….

 …JEANS!!

Ha, not really.

AIRBRUSHING!!!

Katie Hopkins – You’re Fired! (Part 3)

Media, The Apprentice, TV

Katie Hopkins 

Poor love. This keeps happening every few months or so. Katie Hopkins, patomime villainess of this year’s Apprentice has been fired from yet another job. A columnist for the Exter newspaper Express & Echo (the cutting edge of modern journalism, I’m sure), she was recently subject of an online poll where readers could vote for whether she should keep her job or not. 84% of those polled voted for her to go…and today she got the sack. Katie was also fired in the summer from her job at the Met Office.

In fact, only 407 people voted in the poll. I wonder what was the actual readership figure of her column in the first place?! Maybe she’ll move on to bigger and better things, like agony aunt in Turning Down a Job with Alan Sugar Monthly, or gossip columnist for Shagging Outdoors Weekly.

You can read her column – all nine entries of it (wow!) – at the link below. I can see why some got annoyed.

One of the comments to the article at the Express & Echo makes a good point – will the paper be running a poll for all its writers? I say yes! Do it for all newspapers and magazines everywhere!! Let’s get rid of all the annoying writers!