Category Archives: Jordan

Greatest Puzzles of the 21st Century – Part 2

Another puzzle for you: is Heat World.com written by an very over-excited 12-year-old girl, who is MSN-ing her mates? Lots of the headlines on the site end in exclamation marks!! Some sentences end in dot-dot-dots… (There’s a technical term for that. I don’t know what it is though. Clearly.) And there’s words CAPITALISED to try and show you how EXCITING it ALL is..! Why don’t they just cut the crap and revert to full on text speak? Because tht wld b lts ov fun, LOL…!!!!!!11

Excellent - the weekly crossword answers are out!!
OMG!! The weekly crossword answers are OUT!!!!!!

Here’s one very exciting story, entitled “OMG! Jordan is SO deluded!”. (You see what I mean?) Apparently, the Heat World journalist almost spat out his/her mid-morning coffee upon reading a story about glamour-model Jordan. Yeah, well, I almost stabbed myself in the eye readng the story on Heat World. I think I win.

Essentially, Jordan apparently wants to make a film of her and Peter Andre’s lives and has revealed, to quote Heat World, “who she would like to play her and husband Peter Andre in a movie – and you’ll be VERY amused by her choices”.

Will I? WILL I? Don’t promise what you can’t fulfill, Heat World – will I really be that amused by her choices? Has she said she wants The Queen to play her? Bobby Davro?! A hamster?!! A Texas Instruments TI-80 scientific calculator…?!?! OMG!!!!

No. She wants Angelina Jolie to play her and Keanu Reeves to play Peter.

So there you have it readers. Heat World brings you the extraordinary story that Jordan – the weirdo – wants attractive and hot people to star as herself and her husband should a movie of her life ever be made.